Techno Robot Pudding

i saw you in the moon today
made to survive another time
brought to distances away from here
grind the road once again

lost my poise
head in hands
not knowing what to say
not knowing how to say

our best drunken conversations
your lapsed interest
my erratic brain
synched to yours

the struggle of the Big Three
all are right
all are wrong
but some hurt more

you make me lose it
the edge you give
it’s hot or cold
from there my soul

it’s funny, really. the aftermath of a liquid haze through which you clumsily waded your way through. all the while, of course, colliding with extreme representations of emotions you know.

and in the end you wake up with that funny feeling that there’s a ten pound weight strapped to your head, with a belly screaming out for reprieve from that wonderful clearinghouse process it had to go through while you dreamt of really odd things- dreams ripe with metaphors and details quite revealing to how your head has been working this last little patch of time.

for this moment in time, any sort of coherent familiar melody can act as a crutch to bring you back down to the level at which the populace currently functions. once there, the recollection of what transpired in those earlier hours can steadily trickle back and you can marvel at how you got away with certain things. like not getting pneumonia. or saying what you said.

while it may seem like a self-destructive process to some, it’s still something that you look back on with a positive expression on your face. which means that it’ll happen again.

lather, rinse, repeat. party.

Back to cryptic post titles. Back to typing things. Back to… here?

I suppose this could be yet another false start in my history of false starts. I could once again be talking about doing something and end up doing absolutely nothing. But that’s where the interesting part comes in- you don’t know if any of it’s true. Then again, I kind of don’t either.

So let’s do a quick round-up of my head. Apathy, confusion, boredom, hunger, anxiety, elation, exhaustion, hope, pity, humility, pessimism, pride, regret, stubbornness, futility, energy, aggression, jealousy, vengefulness, relaxation, aloofness, addiction, creativity, smugness. That should do it.

My dreams have gotten so weird and realistic that I sometimes have trouble discerning them and reality. It can be the case that at points in time I wish that one or the other were true. Unfortunately you can’t pick or choose. Sucks.

I wish I could come up with something funny right now, but it seems the tank is empty. So instead my wry prose is employed to fill the space between brain and nothingness. Funny how words can have so much power. How they can be twisted around. How they can hurt or heal.

I might just go lay down now. It seems the moments of the day where I get the most respite are those that involve me laying down and staring up at the ceiling. Or when I’m out and about doing fun things. But it’s time for a break now.