Techno Robot Pudding

Here’s to anyone who has ever worked in a job where they’ve had to deal with the general public. You all probably know what I’ve been through.

I love this web comic: http://counterculture.infinite-comics.com

And music.

Been busy lately. Very busy. Tired busy.

You know what? If you’re reading this and thinking “well, this sucks because he doesn’t put any coherant effort into it” then just click that sexy little “next” button in the blogger bar. After it takes you to a number of blogs about glue made from squirrel genitalia, pillows stuffed with scrotum hair, vampires who take antacids, hippies who are unrealistically high on life, hippies who think everyone is going to drop everything and get along at their beck and call (if only it was that easy!), hippies who use glue made from squirrel genitalia to mount pillows stuffed with scrotum hair onto other hippies who are chiding vampires while they take antacids, drug-dealing mutant geese and emo fans; you might know where the goodness is. Probably not here, but if I tried so hard with this, it’d probably suck even more.

“Well, why do you stick with a template theme?” Well, why not? I don’t need a fancy sidebar that tells me the temperature of Abe Vigota’s anal lining. I don’t need a flash pet that tries to sell surplus Soviet arms to visitors (though the Gray Tidings one rocked it sweet!). I don’t need a background that causes more epileptic fits than a big screen full of Pikachus at a Raffi concert. I don’t need a goddamn Fox News ticker squirting out propaganda regarding the sexuality of the Wiggles. I don’t need suck. I’ve got enough already, thankyouverymuch.

Testy? Oh, piss off.

1. smile. a lot. don’t try too hard, or people will not believe the fiction that you’d not want to choke the majority of them.

2. use gentle language. instead of going on a long and complicated rant, treat them like four-year-olds and backpeddle in order to make the conversation flow your way.

3. be ignorant of their ignorance. if they’re stupid or ambivalent, pretend that they’ve just been sleeping under a rock for the last 75 fucking years. that way, you can’t really blame them.

4. don’t overly value your own intelligence. even though you know what you’re talking about, and you know that you know what you’re talking about, refrain from embedding several sharp stones in the forehead of individuals who disagree because they’ve fucked up enough times.

5. pay lip service to the fact that since you’re young, you can’t be trusted to know anything. when someone asks an older person the same question you just gave them the perfect answer to, shrug it off. when the older person gives the idiot the same answer you previously provided, refrain from giving the finger to the idiot outright. also, when an idiot accuses you of miscounting, go through the transaction innocently and slowly enough for their underdeveloped craniums to absorb. when you are sure of your correctness, slight cocky sarcasm is acceptable, as long as it is nothing too enjoyable.

6. think of it as an acting performance. be convincing, but don’t be Keanu Reeves. on the other end of the spectrum, don’t be Kate Winslet.

7. pretend that the only thing important to you in the entire world is standing there and listening to them tell you about something you could care less about. it keeps the monkeys happy.

that’s about it. thank you, 10 hours of work!

Yeah, I’ve been unusually tired the last several days. No idea why, but I think I’m coming up on my second wind…finally. Now I shall be able to sumo wrestle with the jumpy climates and jumpy people of the summer months. I’ll salt ya, biatch!

In other news, I work a lot of hours. This means money, but it also means fatigue. For some reason, I’m fatigued more this year than last. However, I am grossly out of shape. Instead of doing something productive, I’m going to blame Nebraska. Damn secret government hideouts…

On this day 25 years ago, Ian Curtis ended his own life. The frontman of Joy Division was responsible for much more than the dark brooding lyrics he sung into many a microphone. He was a large part of shaping what we know of today as modern rock music. Punk, techno, alternative; all were influenced in one part or another by the attitudes and styles of Joy Division. Just as many remember Kurt Cobain as a great artist who passed young, so must Ian Curtis be remembered. Just as Cobain is remembered very much through his music, so is Ian Curtis remembered. May he continue to Rest in Peace.

Curtis (left) with bandmate, friend, and future New Order frontman Bernard Sumner

[clever title]
thorg write blog poetry
poetry for goodness such
poetry not need rhyme
poetry not need much

thorg like funny bunny
thorg like funny tree
thorg like make real money
thorg like drinking pee

now progress to beat-time stanza
i don’t count them
patter on my head
you sound like a beat poet
probably from how i read it
as they looked at me with odd expressions
appreciation not showing
boredom not showing either

haiku stanza now
go to gray tidings, read more
haikufest is god

now i’ll bitch about the world
from my 14-year old perch
with shitty emo music blaring
scream some more, fools

back to rhyme in real time devine
not a crime cross the line bad grammar time
space disgrace save face this place
is waste eat paste your caste is maced
by haste and based on empty taste

the end
nothing good ever ends with “the end”
proven once again