Techno Robot Pudding

Yes, I finished the gruesome paper at 1am this morning. Hooray! Let’s celebrate my liberation with some rambling.

I used to be a hobo back in my younger days. They called me Wayne the Hobo King, because that’s what I also happened to be; a hobo and a king. You see, the hoboes decided that if they were going to become “real” members of society, they’d need a government and such. So they called for elections. After the elections turned into a bloodbath of rusty nails and dirty people clawing at one another, I proposed we have a monarchy. This angered the marxist hoboes, who wished for a socialist democracy. They promptly rioted. After defeating their leader Vladimir Illych, I asked who else wanted some. Nobody did, and I stole the throne for myself. Now, being king of the hoboes is a rough task. You have to organize the ranks. There are hoboes who throw dirty cats, hoboes who eat worms, hoboes who beg for change, and many more. Now since I was the king, I had to claim to be descended from someone important. Claiming I was descended from a God would anger the born-again hoboes, so I said I was descended from the highest-ranking hobo ever– Abraham Lincoln. This angered the Abraham Lincoln-impersonating hoboes, but they were quickly given cushy jobs conning old ladies into feeding us, so that situation was quickly diffused. There was also the great hobo renaissance, which included innovations in box home construction and mending socks with holes in the toe. By this time, I had decided that it would be better if I went to art school. So I tearfully left the hobo commune, selecting the Duke of Dumpster to take my place at the throne. But the Duke was an awful and irresponsible ruler. He was seen fooling around with the winos one night. This didn’t sit well with the hoboes, and his assassination came soon after. I still remember hearing the people speak with joy in their voices when they described how the garbage truck compacted his dazed body. I’m just glad I wasn’t there.

Now that was some good rambling.

And the end grows ever nearer. Ugh, this last paper has been a bigger pain in the ass than I thought. Why the hell has it taken so long? Dammit! Well, once that’s done I have three in-class exams and a final to go. C’mon 3.0! Heheheh….

Then it’s summer. Summer == busy. But summer also == good. Why the “==” instead of one equals sign? Java tainted me.

I hope my new PC has a “kill Java” button. If not, I’ll make one. That way, if the foul little creature pops up, it can be quickly vanquished.

Question of the day, sports fans: What do you do when you have a large paper due soon but have no ideas on how to make your points?

a. start writing anything that comes off the top of your head
b. write a song about it
c. pay off the professor
d. eat lots of chicken and applesauce

answer? e. none of the above. It wasn’t a choice, you say? Well, I didn’t say it would be one of the listed choices, now did I? Truly I am a vindictive bastard.

So what have I done? I’ve read a little. That’s gotta count for something. Reeding iz more tuffer then speling fore mee too doo.

Rolling on down to the end of the year. Tests, tests, and more tests. Can’t wait. C’mon 3.0! *rolls dice* Snake Eyes? Damn! I was hoping for Destro.

This blog is compatible with Firefox. ‘Nuff said? Apparently not. Some people are still using IE. This makes me sad. If you’re viewing this in IE and have problems (which will probably be very very minor, if any) then just do yourself a favor and go download Firefox. It’s better anyways.

I’m messing around with the appearance of the blog. If it doesn’t display correctly, click “refresh.” If it still doesn’t, install this. If even then it doesn’t, turn on your monitor. If it still doesn’t, odds are I’ve been taken hostage by a group of angry moss-eating dwarves. Send a check or money order worth $4757.34 to:

The Free Chris Weber Fund
c/o Angry Moss Eating Dwarves
8402 Big Tree Lane
Forestville, AK 12121

Or you can just send the check anyways.